syckophant | IC Inbox

Fox: As is mine.
Fox: Let me know when you have finished preparing. I will wait, though not for too long.
Fox: ;)

Bordeaux: Sure sure
Bordeaux: I guess meet me outside so our units don't have to see our shame

Fox: Speak for yourself.
Fox: I will be down shortly.

[and indeed, fox is waiting not too far from the hotel, dressed nicely for his deito :*]

[Eichi groans, and when he shows up he's just dressed like a mob boss because that's what he is.

He hates this but he's here and he has sunglasses which will surely make his disgusted faces look less like that.]

Alright, let's make this as painless as possible.

You could put some effort into it, you know.

[holds out his hand. lead me, your majesty]

Besides, I thought you enjoyed pain.

[Eichi is wearing his best "sorry I'm not excited, I didn't want to come" face. But he takes Fox's hand regardless.]

Am I meant to be enjoying this?

[he lifts eichi's hand to his lips and kisses it, all gentlemanly]

If you feel you are not up to the task, I can take the reigns for a while.

Would that satisfy you, though?

[He manages not to look annoyed by the kiss to his hand. He sighs, closing his fingers on Fox's.]

Would the onsen theme park please you? It's probably that or the theater. We don't have many options for dates.

No, but there is something I wish to show you at some point.

[it probably has to do with the sketchbook tucked under his arm]

I have not been to the onsen in a while. The weather is still quite cold, so that sounds pleasant.

Of course.

[He's not surprised. Fox using his art to show something is akin to an idol getting out their feelings in song. Inevitable, really.]

It is probably one of the more explicitly romantic sites as well. The park isn't so bad, but it is too cold out for me to stay outside long.

I shall keep you warm if you have need of body heat.

Shall we go?

[sparkle sparkle]

Let us be off.

[He won't tell Fox how bad he is at seduction. He's sure he knows. He has to know, right? He'll just take Fox's hand and begin leading him toward the subway. Eichi has yet to buy his car.]

[fox has no idea.

once they're on the train, fox sits next to eichi and opens his sketchbook; he flips through a few pages that are filled with quick sketches of eichi, some close-ups of his expressions--many of them frowning or full of contempt and anger, but just as many looking deeply smug and satisfied, even sadistic--along with close-ups of his hands and wings and tail.

and there's one that fox very quickly turns over so eichi doesn't see, don't mind that one ahahaha '-']

Do not worry, I will not ask you to pose for me tonight. We can save that for another time.

[Eichi expected a picture. Maybe two. Here furrows his brow when it becomes more than that. At the closeups of his hands, and of his expressions. It's weird to see, but when he looks at Fox again, he's a little...??? concerned???]

...This is. A lot. Why...? I've done nothing to you worse than what I'd done to...

[To Shu. Leo. Rei. Kanata. Even Wataru. They've all had very different but mostly understandable reactions. Why is this so baffling to him...?]

Has this truly been the worst thing you've endured here, or is it simply the only one you feel you can exercise agency over?

[

the question catches fox off-guard. his index finger twitches as he's about to turn another page, and he stops and just stares at the paper for a few moments]

During those last few--hours? days?--of time spent in your room, it all sort of blurs near the end, I could feel myself slipping into nothingness. I resisted as much as I could, but I could feel the inevitability creeping up on me. One of my last thoughts I can recall before seeing Shu was making a vow to come back, even as one of the Damned, even as a ghost. I vowed to come back to my loved one's arms again. And I vowed to haunt you for the rest of eternity, however little that would mean.

Do you know, I never made it back to Taisho until much later? As soon as Shu and I entered the elevator, we were whisked away to that awful House. I spent the entire game greying and losing my sense of self... as I also grew mad with bloodlust and rage. I have no doubt that, had I come upon you there, I would have lost all sense of reason and attacked you until you were little more than a bloody heap.

Afterwards, I found I could not bring myself to draw, or to paint. Inspiration had left me, and without it I felt empty, broken. Thankfully, a friend suggested to me that I try to expel my pain through art--perhaps by doing so, I might be able to exorcise it. And so I did. I painted what had happened to me, what I had felt, what mixed-up memories I could piece together of the entire experience. That is how others came to know about it. And in a way, it worked; I was able to create art again, but more often than not what appears in my mind's eye are images of you. So, while I have exorcised my pain, I have absorbed all thoughts of you.

You are not the worst thing that has ever happened to me. But you are close. It is true that I regret treating you poorly and I regret trying to hide our relationship from Shu. It is also true that I did not deserve to be hurt so egregiously in retaliation. I do not see you as my captor anymore... but still, I feel you have a hold on me that I am unable to remove. Would killing you remove it? I fear it will only make me want to pull you closer. Would leaving you be remove it? I think my yearning for you would drive me mad. I have made attempts to salvage what remains of our friendship, but they do little good. Hating you makes my chest hurt. The thought of loving you makes it hurt, too. Would it be better to surrender to you? Or to fight you tooth and nail? I do not know.

So, I have resigned myself... to being consumed by thoughts of you. To this obsession. Something will break it eventually, I hope, but fighting it has done me no good.

[Eichi understands better in long form, and so he nods along, beginning to "get" it. It's not judgemental, but he's not ready to be compassionate yet either. Whether Fox thinks he deserved what Eichi did to him or not doesn't matter, because Eichi already knows he was wrong to do it. He was wrong but he's always wrong.

He just thinks for awhile, sighing and sitting back on his wings, looking ahead in thought.]

I don't know what you'd want from me. I don't think there's any kind of revenge that'd work to soothe your ills. I don't think you'd be satisfied if I were to be in a relationship with you, either.

Do you just want... casual sex...?

[He doesn't understand why that'd help, but whatever. Maybe he just wants to take out his frustrations on him or something???]

I don't really understand. I've had the same feeling in some ways towards Itsuki-kun... No matter how cruel he is to me, I'm always drawn back, but I don't know what would help it. It ebbs when he's not near, but flows when I get him all riled up. Maybe I'd cool off too, if he and I...

Oh, what a foolish thought.

[fox turns red, glancing away for a moment, but it's obvious he's a bit flustered by this sort of talk. he did not think this part through oh no.

he clears his throat]

Foolish it may be, but... I know that feeling well. If you could disentangle yourself from him, would you? ... ah, forgive me, you do not need to answer that. It is a foolish question.

You are right; I do not want a relationship with you, at least not one of that nature. But... I... would be lying if I said I had not thought about seducing you and being seduced by you. I think on it often. That much is probably obvious...

Still, if it were just something that happened once and we were done with it, I think that would make me crave you even more. That is how I felt after that dream, after all.

... it feels like this skein becomes more and more tangled the more I talk about it...

[...]

I wonder if I can--look at me? Please.

[he's looking at eichi's face now, trying to study it]

Edited 2020-01-25 21:41 (UTC)

Needy, aren't you?

[He turns to look at Fox, with something more mocking, slightly more cruel than teasing on his face.]

I don't think I'd want to stop feeling how I feel about Itsuki-kun, no. It makes me feel alive to have such strong emotions, and to have a rival who can match my ferocity on the stage, even if he just can't match my charm there. He doesn't love idols or the audience, after all- he loves art.

I wasn't offering a fling, by the way. I meant a casual setup... no strings attached, just blowing off steam. I've gotten too attached to my last toy and it's gotten a little out of hand.

[He brings a scaled hand up to his chin, tapping it gently while wearing a coy grin.]

No dates, no chatting, just... a booty call, I guess.

[how did this conversation get so out of hand? fox wonders in the back of his mind. despite how much he hates being treated so cruelly, he still prefers it to eichi's disdain... so he doesn't look away. he studies eichi's expression entirely, memorizing it]

... I... ah. That's right. I am just a toy to you. A tool.

[he doesn't sound angry or bitter, for once--in a way, he's gotten used to this kind of thinking]

Do you think that will satisfy me? Or you, for that matter?

[Eichi shrugs, dropping the smile for something more neutral. He's just trying to problem-solve more than he is interested in seducing Fox. That want of his has long since faded. ]

I don't think anything will really satisfy me, and I don't know if it'd satisfy you, but I feel like I could argue it in a spirited enough fashion that you'd believe me.

The truth is, I think the only thing that'd truly satisfy you is learning to move on. If you'd not take for granted the fact that you have a healthy body and people who love you, and realize that you don't need me or anything from me, you'd be fine. Sure, we wouldn't be friends, sure, I wouldn't have gotten your retribution, but turning this energy and obsession from me and onto those who you feel deserve it would be what really helps.

But that's, like, hard to do. So I offered something more indulgent, less healthy, probably not sustainable long-term, but it'd be fun.

I do not take those things for granted...!

[HUFFS]

It is not as though time and energy spent on you is wasted. [is it, fox] What if I change my mind and decide to kill you, after all? Or at least torture you. No, wait, I have already decided not to do those things.

[sighs!!]

What is it about you that makes me wallow in such indecision!?

[THIS IS THE WORST DATE I'VE EVER BEEN ON, WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS]

Edited (listen) 2020-01-26 00:27 (UTC)

[IT WAS YOUR IDEA, FOX.]

Mmmh, but you do. Look at you- you're out here on a train ride with someone who has been trying to avoid you, someone who hurt you terribly, instead of somewhere with people who have done anything positive for you. You dwell on this pain you felt and on how you need to deal with it, rather than realizing that your body is intact, you live in a place where you have a support group built in, and that you don't need anything to move on but that.

And of course it's all wasted time.

If you murdered or tortured me, all you would accomplish is to further strain the already tense relationship between our units, while your unitmate is trying so hard to build a bridge where one was once burned. And it wouldn't really bother me anyway. I told oyu, dying here doesn't really hold any weight, and [he rolls his eyes] just physically hurting me doesn't bother me. Sure, it would hurt in the moment, but all I'd be afterwards is angry.

It's just an exercise in frustration for both of us.

...

We could alleviate that frustration through sex.

[SAID AS IF IT JUST NOW OCCURRED TO HIM]

[Eichi stares at Fox with a mix of resigned anger at himself and disappointment with Fox. Is it Eichi? Does he attract this kind of idiot??? Wataru isn't this way... Tenn isn't... but Hell if Shu, Fox, and even Leo aren't this way.

He must be doing something wrong.]

You're lucky you are cute.

[SAID BITTERLY. He's not saying he's endeared by it. If anything he's disgusted. Good lord, give Eichi the strength.]

You'd be so much cuter gagged, though...

[fox sputters for a moment, going deeply red, and then annoyed. he's not pouting, you're pouting, shut up]

... and you would be much more appealing if you were bound.

[so!! there!!!]

i love hi

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